And now a few words about... laying, shagging, copulating, having marital relations, interpenetration of persons, joining, nuptial union, parking the pinkcadillac, mounting, plugging, penetration, coupling, sexual union, plowing, inserting tab a into slot b, knobbing, knocking boots, jig-jig, dancing the married man's cotillion, rogering, putting the wood to, creating one flesh, balling, doing the nasty, the french wrestling match, rolling in the hay, enacting god's plan, pulling the station wagon into the old garage, playing doctor, filling up the gas tank, docking the thumb drive in the usb, tangential differentiation, coitus coition, communion of persons, getting busy, doing the no-pants dance, laying pipe, making whoopee, the naughty, getting lucky, bow-chika-bow-bow, bumpin' and grindin', giving her the business, going at it, horizontal folk dancing, slamming, sexual congress, the ol' how's-your-father, jiggery pokery, showing her your "o" face, a dig in the whiskers, diddling, boinga boinga, exchanging dna, dipping, banging, going all the way, hanky-panky, fornicating, cleaning the gutters, humping, the ol' in-and-out, parting her whiskers, rooting, bonking, drilling, tapping that, getting a leg over, getting laid, communio personarum, snakes in a cave, hanking, poking, riding, screwing, putting the you-know-what in the you-know-where, planting seeds, hibbity dibbity, arts and crafts, blowing one's beans, boffing, boinking, getting your freak on, playing pelvic pinochle, boning, making babies, spelunking, chim chiminey chim chim cher-oo, shtupping, lovemaking, the magical embrace, the baloney bop, hitting skins, chitty-chitty-bang-bang, making the beast with two backs, mating, the horizontal mambo, organ grinding, occupying vagistan, horizontal hokeypokey, playing hide-the-sausage, horizontal jogging, nookie, getting some action, railing, giving her the old slippery pete, stabbing, the squelchy, nailing, pleasuring, the twist and shout, hitting a home run, putting a snake on her plane, tapping the flesh keg, knowing in the biblical sense, docking the rocket in the space station, consummating, bedding, adam-and-eve-ing it, dancing the buttock jig, doing the do, fixing the plumbing, giving juice for jelly, the old pickle tickle, getting some, going at it, what father did before me...

The State of Sex: An Extensive Survey

How to Get Some on February 14th, by Mary-Louise Parker

The Endorsement: Clothes On, by Tom Chiarella

The Endorsement: Clothes Off, by Tom Chiarella

Psychosexual Theory of the Month: The Oedipus Complex, by Scott Raab

An Open Letter (Re: Sex) to the Readers of Esquire from the Editors of Marie Claire, by The Editors of Marie Claire

Are You Getting Laid Tonight? A Quiz, by Stacey Grenrock Woods

The Sexual Etiquette Guide, by Stacey Grenrock Woods