World Coffee Shortage: Panic Line Forms to the Left

There’s a looming world coffee shortage.

Let that sink in for a moment:

Mother Nature’s gone on a bender and belted coffee growers around the world, but particularly Brazil — who happens to be supplier of 1/3 of the world’s coffee beans — with droughts and floods and then more droughts:

First there was confusion about the shortage, because aren't other countries growing coffee beans, too? I think I heard something about Colombia once.

But logic dictates that low yield for the largest grower + bad weather x increased coffee consumption = rising costs and less coffee FOR EVERYONE:

Well-meaning folks will suggest coffee drinkers sip on tea; after all, tea packs a caffeine punch.

“DON’T PANIC!” say the experts, "It should get better."

But they’re probably tea drinkers.

And of course we panic because THE COFFEE WILL BE GONE, or maybe we'll need to ration:

And nobody wants to see what happens when a coffee addict has to ration.

After rage comes despair, which tea drinkers can never understand; the commitment to coffee is deep, folks.

So, now’s the time to stock up, but don't be greedy.

And until then, sip while the sipping's good, and savour every drop.

For more useful tips to help you navigate daily life, you should really check out how to make your own brown sugar and then because there's a coffee shortage, you'll need to soothe your sorrows with bacon: bacon-wrapped cheese jalapeños to be precise.

^{Empty coffee cup image courtesy of Pixabay.}