A 48 hour plan that will help you recharge, recalibrate and emerge re-energized.
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I know what you’re thinking. You don’t have time to go away for a weekend by yourself. There’s way too much to do. There’s that party you’re supposed to go to. You’ve been meaning to clean out your car for ages. Your partner or kids would be lonely and get mad at you – or if you don’t have a partner you want to go out and flirt! What would you do for an entire weekend by yourself? You’d get so bored. And besides, you definitely don’t have the money.
There will be another party. Your car can wait. Explain to your partner how important this is – or know that a weekend alone will enhance your attractiveness if you’re single.
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But really that’s all BS and you know it. There will be another party. Your car can wait. Explain to your partner how important this is – or know that a weekend alone will enhance your attractiveness if you’re single. Being bored is underrated. And you can do your weekend on the cheap.
Maybe you’re not used to spending time alone. But think of this is a gift for yourself, a time to turn inward and explore new dimensions. You will recharge, recalibrate and emerge re-energized. Make the time. Find the money. No one wants to hear your excuses.
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The first thing to do is plan it well in advance if you have a busy life. Put it in your schedule and stick to it. Ask around – which of your friends knows of a great cabin or camping spot? Maybe you can housesit for a friend. Check Air BnB. Try to find someplace in nature where you will not be disturbed. If that’s impossible, make it a point to find some place that is not your home. You want to disrupt your usual patterns and there are too many tempting things to distract you where you live.
But what should you do for a full weekend by yourself? Here are some guidelines.
Exercise
Fundamental to a good experience is feeling good in your body. Here are some ideas – do one every day:
- Yoga – if you don’t have a practice download a video beforehand.
- The NYTimes 7 minute workout.
- Running/hiking/walking.
- If you’re lucky enough to be by a body of water jump in! Even if it’s cold! Especially if it’s cold.
- Dance! This might be totally difficult and weird for you. Which is exactly why you should do it. It doesn’t have to look good, the idea is simply to try to let the music move you, follow your instincts. Try to enjoy your body and its movement.
Art
Bring something to make art with. You don’t have to show this to anyone. It’s strictly for you.
- Make a collage from old magazines.
- Play music. If you don’t own one see if you can borrow a drum/guitar. Enjoy messing around with it.
- Write a poem.
Sleep
You’re probably sleep deprived. Many of us are in this day and age.
- Sleep in! Don’t set an alarm. What a luxury. I know I don’t have to tell most people this twice.
- Don’t be afraid of taking naps when the urge arises. But don’t sleep away your entire weekend!
Relaxation
Most of us are stressed and anxious. Let’s address that.
- Meditate – most people think they can’t meditate. Everyone can meditate, and it’s hard for everyone – the mind wanders. The practice includes cultivating the ability to be kind to yourself as you notice that once again, you have gotten distracted for minutes at a time and forgotten you were supposed to be meditating! If you need help starting download the Headspace or Calm app.
- Do nothing. Seriously. Just watch the sky, or the trees. You may have to set aside 30 minutes for this. Watch as you try to resist it and find something else to do.
Writing
What an opportunity to really go inward and connect with yourself – we focus outwardly in so much of our lives. Do one each day.
- Steve Pavlina’s purpose exercise – for many men purpose is a powerful motivator. “Why am I here?” If you don’t know, or you’re having doubts this is a great time to figure it out.
- Journal – write at least three pages, freehand (not on a computer.) It doesn’t matter what you write about, just write. Try not to think about it too much. This may feel awkward at first, but stay with it.
- Angry with someone? Write them a letter – but don’t plan on sending it. Really just spill your guts. Get it out of your psyche.
- Do a gratitude exercise — what are you thankful for? No matter your troubles there is always something to be thankful for. This may feel cheesy or weird at first. Do it anyway.
Reading
What is of interest to you in the realm of personal improvement? Here are some recommendations specifically for men:
- King, Warrior, Magician, Lover – a classic exploring various masculine archetypes.
- Fire in the Belly – a great read on being a man.
- The Power of Now – believe the hype. Read it.
Eat
Duh. It doesn’t have to be fancy. You can get pre-made things if you’re not the type to cook. Try to avoid sugar, heavy/greasy foods. Make sure you drink plenty of water. You can also try fasting for a day.
What Not to Do
- If you do any substances, or drink alcohol, try to avoid it for the weekend. If you’re struggling with alcohol/substance abuse set a small goal – maybe to not do it for one day of your retreat.
- Don’t turn on your phone. Or connect to the internet. For real. If you have to connect limit it to once a day. This leaves some time for you to get bored – an essential part of living that we overlook in our current culture of frequent media consumption.
- You may be tempted to bring lots of things to entertain yourself – novels, games, your iPad loaded up with movies. Resist this urge – this weekend is about going inward, not about content consumption.
- Similarly, avoid porn – if you are looking at porn everyday and find it hard to stop set a modest goal for yourself of stopping for a day.
Integration
This is very important! Take a moment at the end of your weekend, or the day after you return home. Ask yourself the following questions and write the answers down.
- How was your experience?
- What did you learn?
- What do you want to do less of in your everyday life?
- What do you want to do more of in your everyday life?
- What would you change for the next time you do this?
Most of all, enjoy yourself! Turn inward for a couple days.
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Most of all, enjoy yourself! Turn inward for a couple days. You’ll undoubtedly learn about yourself and emerge recharged and ready to take on new challenges.
What would you do on a weekend self-retreat? Comment below!
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Disclaimer: I am fully aware that this may not be possible for people that are genuinely struggling financially, who have family obligations, who might not have cars, or the gear/expertise for a solo wilderness trip. If that’s the case scale back – see if you can do this for a day at a friend’s home across town while they’re gone. Something is better than nothing. But I’ll bet a large majority of the people reading this can make a full weekend happen.
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Photo: Getty Images