First come the grey hairs. Then the crepey goose neck skin. Next thing you know you’re buying shoes for comfort instead of sex appeal. The ultimate capitulation is the Tilley hat and 60 sunscreen. And that’s just the beginning.
Orthotics? Sign me up. Face cream? Non-negotiable. Sleep? What’s that? Which brings me to the issue of weight.
Used to be if I went the gym three times a week, I could eat anything I want and not gain an ounce.
Now I just look at chips and my spare tire expands. Ten bucks to anyone who can tell me where my waist went. Seriously, 10 bucks. Okay, 20.
Last week, as I was examining the wrinkles on my face, I realized I resemble a Shar-Pei.
And while I’m on the topic of the ravages of aging.....what’s up with that wattle below my chin?
Press it between your fingers, and it holds that shape. It’s remarkable, really. Don’t know what wattle is?
One dictionary’s definition is: “a fleshy lobe or appendage hanging down from the throat or chin of certain birds, as the domestic chicken or turkey.”
Perfect. Not only am I getting old and saggy, but I’m starting to resemble Thanksgiving food.
Am I disturbed by the aging process, which seems to be chasing me at warp speed? You bet I am!
But then I stop, give my head a shake (which animates aforementioned wattle), and remind myself that it happens to everyone. Well…except George Clooney.
Getting philosophical, I’d say that this is the natural order of things.
That women and men are supposed to get softer, flabbier, and less attractive as they age.
The world would be a scary place if young men found much older women attractive. And if young women found old men attractive....wait....they do!
And then some of them marry those decrepit old guys with a Cadillac and a cough, and end up with a gazillion dollars.
In a perfect world, both sexes would age gracefully, accept the process with dignity, and the world would live in peace. If only.
Aging is not for sissies, that’s for sure. Words of advice:
1. Enjoy your beauty, taut skin and gorgeous hair while you’re young.
2. Never wish to trade places with someone else.
3. Flaunt your inner beauty, too.
4. Accept yourself as you are.
I promise you’ll find things about aging that will make you grateful for your years.
I just can’t remember any at the moment. I’ll get back to you.
Shelley Civkin is a retired communications officer with the Richmond Public Library
